What Does It Mean to Love Like Jesus Did?
Few words are used more often - and misunderstood more deeply, than the word love. Our culture
celebrates it endlessly, defining love as affirmation, tolerance, self-expression and emotional
approval. In that framework, love avoids offense at all costs - and truth becomes negotiable.
We see Christians being branded intolerant even while claiming to lead with love. Why? How did Christ actually demonstrate love - was it through sentiment or through sacrifice? Is love truly inseparable from truth? And why does following Jesus demand total surrender, not cultural trends?
When we turn to Jesus Christ, we encounter a radically different vision of love - one that is transformative, costly and ultimately life-giving. To love like Jesus did is not to feel warmly toward others or to avoid conflict. It is to lay down one's life for the sake of truth, redemption and relationship with God. Jesus did not come to make people comfortable in their sin; He came to rescue them from it. His love was sacrificial, holy and rooted in truth. That same love now calls those who follow Him to live differently in a world that increasingly rejects truth.
Love Defined by the Cross, Not by Culture
We live in a world that constantly talks about love, yet rarely defines it. Love is love has become an unquestioned slogan, but slogans are not definitions. Scripture does not leave love vague or subjective. Love is defined by the cross.
In modern thought, love is often reduced to affirmation, acceptance and non-judgment. Biblical love, however, is not shaped by feelings, preferences, social consensus or pressure. Real love is costly, purposeful and grounded in truth - and its clearest expression is found in Jesus Christ crucified on the cross. The cross is not safe, affirming or politically correct - it is based in truth.
Jesus did not merely speak about love - He embodied it.
You cannot understand love until you understand what it cost.
He defined love in sacrificial terms saying, "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends" (John 15:13).
If our definition of love never confronts sin, never demands sacrifice and never costs us anything, then it is not the love of Christ.
Jesus Christ - the Son of God - took on flesh and entered our broken world. He lived without sin and willingly submitted Himself to mockery, beating, scourging, bloodshed and death. Not because He was guilty, but because we were. "But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities, the chastisement for our peace was upon Him ..." (Isa 53:5). This was no accident. The cross was not a tragic mistake or unforeseen outcome. It was always the mission.
At the cross, Jesus took our punishment. "No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself" (John 10:18). He absorbed God's righteous judgment. He stood in the place of sinners and endured what justice demanded - that is real love. Betrayed by friends, rejected by His people, condemned by corrupt authorities and crucified as a criminal, Jesus suffered willingly - and Scripture tells us why - "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Rom 5:8).
Jesus shattered shallow, self-centered notions of love with a radical, self-giving grace that offered everything and withheld nothing.
Love is not mere kindness, approval or passive acceptance. Love is self-giving sacrifice for the good of another - even at the highest cost.
Jesus did not die to affirm us as we are. He died to redeem us from what we are. He did not die to leave us as we are; He died to rescue us from judgment and reconcile us to God.
Any love that costs nothing is not love.
Any love without truth is counterfeit.
Any love that refuses sacrifice is hollow.
This is what love is!
Love Is Caring Enough to Tell the Truth
If love is defined by the cross, then love cannot be separated from truth. Jesus did not suffer and die merely to comfort people, but to rescue them from sin and reconcile them to God. That mission required truth - spoken clearly, sometimes painfully; and always purposefully.
Modern culture often equates love with avoiding offense. Jesus did the opposite - He loved people deeply, yet He never diluted the truth to preserve comfort. He confronted hypocrisy, named sin for what it was and warned of judgment - not in spite of His love, but because of it. Love and truth are not opposites; in fact, separating them destroys both and Scripture teaches us as such. The goal of confronting lies is not to win arguments, but to win souls. Jesus was bold with truth, yet tender with the broken. Scripture tells us that when He looked at the crowds, "He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd" (Matt 9:36). Everything Jesus did flowed from that compassion. He welcomed sinners, touched the untouchable, restored the fallen and forgave the repentant. But His compassion never ignored truth. He healed in order to call people to repentance. He forgave in order to free people from sin. Grace was never an endorsement of lies; it was an invitation out of them.
If our truth lacks compassion, we misrepresent Christ. If our compassion lacks truth, we mislead people. Biblical love holds both together.
Jesus was "full of grace and truth" (John 1:14)) - not divided between the two, but perfectly united. His truth was never cruel, and His compassion was never compromising. Both were expressions of love aimed at rescue, not approval. This is precisely why modern definitions of love fall so far short. One of the biggest lies of our time is the belief that love requires affirmation. Scripture teaches the opposite. Jesus never affirmed false beliefs, sinful behavior or self-defined identities that contradicted God's design. He did not validate people's 'truth'. He proclaimed the truth, declaring, "I am the way, the truth and the life" (John 14:6)
When Jesus encountered sinners, He showed genuine compassion, and He always called them to repentance. He forgave, healed and restored - yet He never left people unchanged. When He confronted religious leaders, He did not soften His words to protect their self-esteem. He called them 'whitewashed tombstones', 'brood of vipers' and 'blind guides' because their lies were leading others to destruction. That was not hate. That was love with courage. To the woman caught in adultery, He extended mercy and then commanded, "Go and sin no more" (John 8:11). Jesus spoke hard truth even when it cost Him followers. He told the rich young ruler what obedience required - and watched him walk away (Mark 10:17-22). He confronted religious leaders publicly and sharply (Matt 23). He told crowds that following Him would cost them everything (Luke 14:25-33), and many stopped following Him because His words were too difficult (John 6:66). Yet Scripture never suggests that Jesus failed to love those who rejected Him. On the contrary, He wept and grieved over Jerusalem as they rejected the truth that could save them (Luke 19:41).
Biblical love is not afraid of rejection. It is not governed by public opinion.
It is anchored in obedience to God.
To love as Jesus loved means caring more about a person's eternal destiny than their temporary approval. It means genuine compassion that heals rather than indulgence that harms. Love that refuses to speak truth may feel kind for now, but it ultimately abandons people to danger. Scripture commands believers to hold truth and love together, "Speaking the truth in love..." (Eph 4:15)
Love without truth becomes sentimentality. Truth without love becomes cruelty. Biblical love refuses both distortions.
The world calls affirmation love, but Jesus defines love by truth.
Jesus never affirmed people in their sin - but He never stopped loving them either. He spoke truth not to condemn, but to save. Not to wound, but to heal; not to win approval, but to call people to life.
This is what love does!
Why the World Calls Biblical Love Unloving
The world does not reject Christian love because it lacks compassion, but because it refuses to redefine love by surrendering truth. When love is reduced to affirmation and acceptance without limits, any refusal to affirm is seen as hatred. Within this paradigm, truth becomes the enemy of love. Scripture anticipates this conflict and Jesus warned that following Him would place His people at odds with the values of the world. He did not pray that His followers would escape the world, but that they would remain faithful within it, "I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world..." (John 17:14-16).
Modern culture increasingly treats moral disagreement as personal harm. To question beliefs, behaviors or identities is seen not as concern, but as cruelty. Affirmation is called love; correction is called violence. In such a climate, the love modeled by Jesus will always appear offensive. This defines Christian life.
This shift did not occur accidentally. Political correctness often presents itself as a way to protect people from harm. Yet in practice, it frequently functions to silence moral disagreement by redefining love as affirmation and treating dissent as injury. Within this framework, truth is no longer something to be spoken for another's good, but something to be avoided for fear of offense. At the core of this is a moral vision that elevates personal autonomy as the highest good. Modern slogans such as "my body, my choice" reflect this worldview. Beneath the language of empowerment lies a deeper assumption - that the self is sovereign and that individual freedom must be preserved at any cost - even when it affects the life or well-being of others.
Jesus, however, offers a radically different vision of love. Where modern ideology centers on self-preservation, the gospel centers on self-giving. The cross proclaims not "my body, my choice", but rather, "My body, given for you..." Jesus did not cling to His rights or assert His autonomy. He willingly laid them down for the sake of others. Scripture describes this perfectly, "who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a servant and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross" (Phil 2:6-8).
The cross stands as the ultimate correction to self-centered definitions of love.
Jesus did not preserve His life at the expense of others; He gave His life so that others might live.
He did not demand self-expression; He embraced self-denial. He did not assert power; He poured Himself out in obedience to the Father.
This contrast reveals the deep moral divide between Christian love and modern ideology. One vision of love is rooted in self-protection and personal sovereignty. The other is rooted in sacrifice, humility and obedience to God. One says, "I live for myself". The other says, "I lay down my life for you". Christians, therefore, are not called to hate or demean those who hold secular views. Scripture commands love for all people, but love does not require agreement and compassion does not require the surrender of truth. Followers of Christ are called to love individuals deeply; while refusing to redefine love in ways that contradict the cross.
Christlike Love Is Not Culturally Controlled
Jesus Himself modeled loved and refused to be shaped by cultural expectations. He lived within a society defined by rigid categories - Jew and Gentile, clean and unclean, righteous and sinner, insider and outcast - and He consistently crossed those boundaries, not once being controlled by them. He spoke with a Samaritan woman when society said He should not (John 4). He touched lepers when religious custom forbade it (Matt 8:1-3). He forgave sinners while commanding them to leave their sin behind (John 8:11).
Jesus did not blindly accept labels, ideologies or cultural scripts.
Jesus loved individuals without affirming everything they believed or did. That distinction is essential; and increasingly forgotten.
He also refused to be reduced to political or ideological categories. Jesus was not politically correct. He did not adjust His message to fit cultural expectations. He offended religious conservatives by exposing hypocrisy and He offended moral progressives by refusing to redefine righteousness. He refused to be co-opted by movements of His day or to bend the knee to social pressure. When crowds demanded easier teaching, He let them walk away. When leaders demanded silence, He spoke plainly. When disciples wanted comfort, He offered a cross and the Holy Spirit.
If Jesus preached today, He would be labeled divisive, intolerant and unloving - not because He lacked compassion, but because He refused to lie. He did not adjust His message to align with cultural trends, nor did He soften truth to preserve popularity, nor did He affirm falsehoods to appear kind. Jesus never surrendered truth to cultural pressure - and set the standard for Christians.
True love refuses to abandon people to lies.
The world may call affirmation love, but Scripture defines love by truth.
Love and truth are not opposites; separating them destroys both.
Christians are called to love the world as Christ did - by engaging it without imitating it. They are called to reach the world with the gospel, but not to conform to the world's values. Compassion does not require compromise. The call of Christ is not to be applauded by the age, but to be faithful to God - trusting that real love, though costly and often misunderstood, is the only love that truly saves.
When the church adopts the language and assumptions of secular culture uncritically, it loses its true voice. When truth is softened to avoid offense, love is emptied of its power.
Love Is Relational, Not Mere Affirmation
Jesus did not come to affirm humanity as it is; He came to reconcile humanity to God. Modern culture tells us that love means leaving people exactly as they are, but Jesus defines love as calling people out of darkness and into light. Christianity is not about vague goodwill or coexistence with sin - it is about restored relationship with the living God.
"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in and dine with him and he with Me" (Rev 3:20). Biblical love is personal and transformative. Jesus does not merely invite agreement with ideas about Him; He calls people to follow Him - to know Him, trust Him, obey Him and live life like Him - in relationship with God. Real love does not leave people unchanged, because relationship with a holy God brings transformation.
Scripture defines love as truth spoken for the sake of life, not blind affirmation. "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand" (Matt 4:17). That call is not impersonal or harsh - it is relational. Jesus desires hearts, not mere compliance. Grace does not deny the reality of sin; it addresses it. Forgiveness is meaningful precisely because sin is real and healing is possible only when the wound is named.
There is no Christianity without repentance and there is no love without truth.
To love God is not merely to feel affection toward Him, but to submit to Him. "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me" (Matt 16:24). Christianity is not about adding Jesus to an existing life; it is about surrendering life to Him entirely.
Biblical love invites people into communion with God - not validation of self.
Tolerance leaves people where they are. Truth, spoken in love, leads them to life.
Loving God Means Discipleship, Not Sentiment
We often hear the beautiful declaration, "God loves you" and it is gloriously true. Scripture confirms this without hesitation. Yet, it also reveals something just as vital - God's love is not merely something we receive - it is something we respond to. Love received awakens love returned - and that response takes the shape of discipleship.
Loving God is more than warm feelings, admiration, or emotional closeness. In the language of Scripture, love is lived out through obedience. A love that never engages the will, never reshapes how we live, and never bows to Christ's authority falls short of the love Jesus speaks of. Jesus made this unmistakably clear when He said, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me" (Matt 16:24).
To love God is to deny self - to loosen our grip on control and surrender our right to rule our own lives. It means placing our ambitions, priorities, identity and future into Christ's hands. Biblical love is not self-expression - it is self-giving allegiance. This is not legalism. Legalism demands obedience without relationship, but discipleship flows from relationship. Obedience is not the price we pay for God's love - it is the evidence that we have received it.
Jesus never called people to admire Him from afar. He did not seek applause, agreement, or casual association. He does not gather fans or followers of convenience. He calls disciples - those who follow, obey and remain, even when the cost is great and the path is narrow. To love God, then, is more than saying the right words or feel the right emotions. It is to belong to Him completely.
Love proves itself in surrender. Love that never costs us anything is not love at all.
"If you love Me, keep My commandments" (John 14:15).
Following the Master's Lead
Jesus consistently demonstrated a kind of love that was both compassionate and confrontational. His love was never shallow or performative - it was rooted in truth and aimed at redemption.
When the woman caught in adultery was dragged before Him, Jesus defended her from execution, exposing the hypocrisy of her accusers. Yet He did not minimize her sin. Instead, He told her to go and leave her life of sin (John 8). With the Pharisees, Jesus was far less gentle. He publicly and harshly rebuked them, not out of cruelty, but because their hypocrisy and false teaching harmed others and obscured the heart of God (Matt 23).
When the rich young ruler approached Jesus, eager for eternal life, Jesus loved him deeply; but He refused to soften the cost of discipleship. He exposed the idol in the man's heart and let him walk away rather than offering cheap grace (Mark 10). And with Peter, Jesus showed both sides of love again - a sharp rebuke when Peter opposed God's plan, followed later by a tender restoration after Peter's failure (Matt 16, John 21).
In every case, Jesus prioritized truth, redemption, and relationship over comfort and approval
To love like Jesus in our time requires courage and sacrifice. It means living sacrificially in a self-obsessed culture and speaking truth in a climate that increasingly punishes disagreement. It requires refusing to affirm lies, even when doing so earns the label unloving, and extending genuine compassion without compromise. Christlike love values eternal life over temporary appeasement . Christians must resist the temptation to bend the knee to cultural trends, political movements, or ideological fads that contradict Scripture. Our allegiance is not to public opinion, but to Christ alone. As Scripture reminds us, "We must obey God rather than men" (Acts 5:29). The world will continue to redefine love in ways that serve the self, avoid suffering, and reject authority. Jesus offers a better way.
Love looks like a cross.
Love tells the truth.
Love sacrifices for others.
Love seeks restoration, not affirmation.
Love calls people to repentance and life.
This kind of love is costly - but it is the only love that saves, and it is the love we are called to live.
Jesus does not call the cleaned up - He cleans those He calls.
No one is beyond redemption, and no sin is too great for the cross.
The same Jesus who warns of judgment also extends an open invitation, "Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matt 11:28).
To love like Jesus means extending that invitation to the world, without compromise and without cruelty.
Suggested Additional Resources
- I'm a Good Person and Good Deeds Will Get Me to Heaven
- How do we Know Jesus is God and not another prophet
- Why Christianity is Different
- Would a Loving God Send Good People to Hell?
- Why Does Evil Exist If God Is Good?
- Aren't All Religions Paths to the Same God
- How do we Know Jesus Rose From the Dead
- Why Worry About Eternity if Life After Death Can't be Proved?
FAQ - What Does it Mean to Love Like Jesus Did
What does it actually mean to love like Jesus?
It means telling the truth, bearing the cost, calling people to repentance and pointing them to eternal life. Love is not mere kindness, approval or passive acceptance. Love is self-giving sacrifice for the good of another - even at the highest cost.
"By this we know love: that He laid down His life for us" (1 John 3:16)
Any love that costs nothing is not love. Any love without truth is counterfeit. Any love that refuses sacrifice is hollow.
What is the ultimate expression of love?
The cross. Jesus laying down His life for sinners. He defined love in sacrificial terms saying, "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends" (John 15:13).
Love is not defined by culture. Love is not defined by comfort. Love is defined by Christ.
To love like Jesus is costly - but it is the only love that saves.
Isn't it unloving to say Jesus is the only way?
It would be unloving not to. If Jesus truly rose from the dead, then He alone has authority over life and death. Withholding truth that saves is not kindness - it is cruelty.
"I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me" (John 14:6).
Buddha said he was a seeker of truth, Muhammed said he was a prophet of truth, Jesus said He is the truth!
Is He truth and if so do you know Jesus personally - is He truth to you?
Isn't telling someone they're wrong unloving?
No. Allowing someone to believe lies that lead to destruction is unloving.
Truth, spoken in love, is an act of compassion.
Didn't Jesus care more about compassion than rules?
Jesus perfectly fulfilled God's law and never contradicted it. His compassion addressed suffering, but His mission addressed sin.
"Do not think that I have come to abolish the law" (Matt 5:17).
Grace without truth is meaningless; truth without grace is crushing. Jesus held both.
Doesn't Jesus love everyone just as they are?
Jesus loves sinners, but He does not leave them as they are. Jesus did not die to affirm us as we are. He died to redeem us from what we are. He did not die to leave us as we are; He died to rescue us from judgment and reconcile us to God.
Isn't telling people they're sinners judgmental?
Calling sin what God calls sin is not judgment - it is truth. Jesus spoke more about sin and judgment than anyone else because eternity is at stake - He loved people enough to warn them.
"The truth will set you free" (John 8:32).
Silence in the face of sin is not love; it is abandonment.
Isn't 'love is love' a Christian idea?
No. Scripture defines love by sacrifice and obedience, not desire and self-expression.
_"In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins" (1 John 4:10).
Cultural love demands affirmation without responsibility.
Biblical love cost something precious and Jesus took responsibility.
Why won't Christians affirm people's identities if they say it's love?
Christians are called to love people, not affirm identities that contradict God's design. Identity flows from the Creator, not from feelings.
"So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female..." (Gen 1:27).
Affirming what God calls sin is not compassion - it is deception.
Why do Christians refuse to 'just let people live their truth'?
Because 'your truth' cannot save you. Truth is discovered, not invented.
Jesus never affirmed false beliefs, sinful behavior or self-defined identities that contradicted God's design. He did not validate people's 'truth'. He proclaimed the truth, declaring, "I am the way, the truth and the life" (John 14:6).
"Your word is truth" (John 17:17).
Love does not encourage self-deception; it points people to reality, even when uncomfortable.
Why do Christians oppose abortion if it's 'my body, my choice'?
Because Christianity teaches that love protects the vulnerable, not sacrifices them for convenience.
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you..." (Jer 1:5).
At the core of the slogan "my body, my choice" is a moral vision that elevates personal autonomy as the highest good - i.e., the self is sovereign and that individual freedom must be preserved at any cost - even when it affects the life or well-being of others.
Jesus, however, offers a radically different vision of love. Where modern ideology centers on self-preservation, the gospel centers on self-giving. The cross proclaims not "my body, my choice", but rather, "My body, given for you..." - He dies, that we might have salvation and life. Jesus did not cling to His rights or assert His autonomy. He willingly laid them down for the sake of others.
Why does Christianity feel offensive to modern values?
Because the gospel confronts pride, autonomy and self-rule. The cross tells us we are not enough because of sin - and that we need saving.
"The message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing" (1 Cor 1:18).
Offense is often the first step toward repentance.
Can Christians love people without affirming everything they do?
Yes - that is exactly how Jesus loved. Love seeks the highest good, not immediate comfort.
Everything Jesus did flowed from that compassion. He welcomed sinners, touched the untouchable, restored the fallen and forgave the repentant. But His compassion never ignored truth. He healed in order to call people to repentance. He forgave in order to free people from sin.
Grace was never an endorsement of lies; it was an invitation out of them.
Affirmation feels kind but won't save you - only truth will.
Why won't Christians adapt to modern cultural ethics?
Because God, not culture, defines human flourishing. Freedom without truth leads to bondage, not joy.
"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's." (1 Cor 6:19-20).
Love honors God's design, even when it contradicts popular opinion.
Didn't Jesus teach acceptance and tolerance?
Jesus taught mercy and repentance, not moral relativism. He welcomed sinners, but never affirmed sin. He died to redeem us from what we are.
He did not die to leave us as we are; He died to rescue us from judgment and reconcile us to God. "Go and sin no more" (John 8:11).
Tolerance leaves people unchanged; Jesus came to transform hearts and rescue people from judgment.
Didn't Jesus hang out with sinners?
Yes, but He didn't become like them. Instead He called them to repentance. Jesus never blended in to affirm behavior - He stood out to call people to life.
"I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance." (Luke 5:32).
He loved sinners too much to leave them unchanged and die without God.
Why does modern culture say Christians are hateful?
Because Christianity refuses to affirm lies. In a culture where disagreement is labeled harm, truth feels like violence. Jesus promised this would happen saying, "If the world hates you, know that it has hated Me before it hated you" (John 15:18).
Christians are not hated for lacking love, but for refusing to redefine it.
Because culture changes and truth does not. Christianity is not progressive or regressive - it is eternal.
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever" (Heb 13:8).
Being faithful to Christ often means standing against the spirit of the age.
Why does PC culture react so strongly to Christianity?
Because Christianity claims exclusive truth.
"There is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved" (Acts 4:12).
A culture built on subjective truth cannot tolerate a Savior who claims ultimate authority.
Should Christians affirm modern identity movements?
Christians must love individuals without affirming beliefs or identities that contradict Scripture.
Jesus shattered shallow, self-centered notions of love with a radical, self-giving grace that offered everything and withheld nothing.
Love is not mere kindness, approval or passive acceptance. Love is self-giving sacrifice for the good of another - even at the highest cost.
Jesus did not die to affirm us as we are. He died to redeem us from what we are. He did not die to leave us as we are; He died to rescue us from judgment and reconcile us to God.
How do we love without becoming hateful?
By imitating Christ: firm in truth, gentle in spirit, motivated by redemption-not pride.
Are Christians supposed to hate the world?
No. Christians are commanded to love people-but not imitate rebellion against God.
"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's." (1 Cor 6:19-20).
Love honors God's design, even when it contradicts popular opinion.
We reach the world best by being different from it (and submitting to a standard higher than ourselves), not absorbed into it.
Why do Christians keep talking about sin all the time?
Because sin separates people from God and Jesus died to deal with it. Ignoring sin makes the cross meaningless.
"You shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins" (Matt 1:21).
You cannot understand love until you understand what it cost. Christians who understand sin and the sacrifice that Jesus paid at the cross, know the weight of sin and its penalty - everlasting death. They love people too much to stay quiet about it.